The Bible in GIFs: Genesis 31

Now Jacob heard that the sons of Laban were saying, “Jacob has taken all that was our father’s; he has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father.” And Jacob saw that Laban did not regard him as favorably as he did before.

over-it

Then the Lord said to Jacob, “Return to the land of your ancestors and to your kindred, and I will be with you.” So Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah into the field where his flock was, and said to them, “I see that your father does not regard me as favorably as he did before. But the God of my father has been with me.You know that I have served your father with all my strength; yet your father has cheated me

GIFs-Get-Over-Cheating-Exes  Maybe Jacob can try the Carrie method with his next employer                   

and changed my wages ten times, but God did not permit him to harm me. If he said, ‘The speckled shall be your wages,’ then all the flock bore speckled; and if he said, ‘The striped shall be your wages,’ then all the flock bore striped. Thus God has taken away the livestock of your father, and given them to me. During the mating of the flock I once had a dream in which… the angel of God said to me in the dream, ‘Jacob,’ and I said, ‘Here I am!’

hello

And he said, ‘Look up and see that all the goats that leap on the flock are striped, speckled, and mottled; for I have seen all that Laban is doing to you. I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and return to the land of your birth.’“

wehavetogoback

Then Rachel and Leah answered him, “Is there any portion or inheritance left to us in our father’s house? Are we not regarded by him as foreigners? For he has sold us, and he has been using up the money given for us. All the property that God has taken away from our father belongs to us and to our children; now then, do whatever God has said to you.” So Jacob arose…and Jacob deceived Laban the Aramean, in that he did not tell him that he intended to flee…

tiptoe-bilbo

On the third day Laban was told that Jacob had fled. So he took his kinsfolk with him and pursued him for seven days until he caught up with him in the hill country of Gilead. But God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream by night, and said to him, “Take heed that you say not a word to Jacob, either good or bad.”

zip-it-dr-evil

Laban overtook Jacob. Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country, and Laban with his kinsfolk camped in the hill country of Gilead. Laban said to Jacob, “What have you done? You have deceived me, and carried away my daughters like captives of the sword. Why did you flee secretly and deceive me and not tell me? I would have sent you away with mirth and songs, with tambourine and lyre.

redwedding  It’s a trap!!

And why did you not permit me to kiss my sons and my daughters farewell? What you have done is foolish. It is in my power to do you harm; but the God of your father spoke to me last night, saying, ‘Take heed that you speak to Jacob neither good nor bad.’ Even though you had to go because you longed greatly for your father’s house, why did you steal my goods?”Jacob answered Laban, “Because I was afraid, for I thought that you would take your daughters from me by force. But anyone with whom you find your gods shall not live. In the presence of our kinsfolk, point out what I have that is yours, and take it.”

prove-it

Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the goods. So Laban went into Jacob’s tent, and into Leah’s tent, and into the tent of the two maids, but he did not find them. And he went out of Leah’s tent, and entered Rachel’s. Now Rachel had taken the household gods and put them in the camel’s saddle, and sat on them. Laban felt all about in the tent, but did not find them. And she said to her father, “Let not my lord be angry that I cannot rise before you, for the way of women is upon me.”

crimesceneinmypants Periods: great for getting out of gym AND stealing from Dad

So he searched, but did not find the household gods. Then Jacob became angry, and upbraided Laban. Jacob said to Laban, “What is my offense? What is my sin, that you have hotly pursued me? Although you have felt about through all my goods, what have you found of all your household goods? Set it here before my kinsfolk and your kinsfolk, so that they may decide between us two. These twenty years I have been with you; your ewes and your female goats have not miscarried, and I have not eaten the rams of your flocks. That which was torn by wild beasts I did not bring to you; I bore the loss of it myself; of my hand you required it, whether stolen by day or stolen by night. It was like this with me: by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes.

youshouldhaveletmesleep

These twenty years I have been in your house; I served you fourteen years for your two daughters, and six years for your flock, and you have changed my wages ten times.

union

If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been on my side, surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed. God saw my affliction and the labor of my hands, and rebuked you last night.” Then Laban answered and said to Jacob, “The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children, the flocks are my flocks, and all that you see is mine. But what can I do today about these daughters of mine, or about their children whom they have borne?

1-i-give-up-gif

Come now, let us make a covenant, you and I; and let it be a witness between you and me.” So Jacob took a stone, and set it up as a pillar. And Jacob said to his kinsfolk, “Gather stones,” and they took stones,

stones

and made a heap; and they ate there by the heap. Laban called it Jegar-sahadutha: but Jacob called it Galeed. Laban said, “This heap is a witness between you and me today.” Therefore he called it Galeed, and the pillar Mizpah, for he said, “The Lord watch between you and me, when we are absent one from the other. If you ill-treat my daughters, or if you take wives in addition to my daughters, though no one else is with us, remember that God is witness between you and me.”

i-m-watching-you-o

Then Laban said to Jacob, “See this heap and see the pillar, which I have set between you and me. This heap is a witness, and the pillar is a witness, that I will not pass beyond this heap to you, and you will not pass beyond this heap and this pillar to me, for harm.

dont-cross-this-line

May the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor” —the God of their father—“judge between us.” So Jacob swore by the Fear of his father Isaac, and Jacob offered a sacrifice on the height and called his kinsfolk to eat bread; and they ate bread and tarried all night in the hill country. Early in the morning Laban rose up, and kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them; then he departed and returned home.

The Bible in GIFs: Genesis 30

So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her. Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife that I may go in to her, for my time is completed.” So Laban gathered together all the people of the place, and made a feast.

feast

But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob; and he went in to her. (Laban gave his maid Zilpah to his daughter Leah to be her maid.) When morning came, it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?” Laban said, “This is not done in our country—giving the younger before the firstborn.

whenshedoes

Complete the week of this one, and we will give you the other also in return for serving me another seven years.”

earnmeRachel’s wardrobe could not compare to Olivia’s

Jacob did so, and completed her week; then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel as a wife…and he loved Rachel more than Leah.

girls-fight-over-boy

He served Laban for another seven years. When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he opened her womb; but Rachel was barren. Leah conceived and bore a son, and she named him Reuben; for she said, “Because the Lord has looked on my affliction; surely now my husband will love me.”

pickmechooseme

She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also”; and she named him Simeon. Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will be joined to me, because I have borne him three sons”; therefore he was named Levi. She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “This time I will praise the Lord”; therefore she named him Judah; then she ceased bearing. When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister;

heathersjealousmuch

and she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I shall die!” Jacob became very angry with Rachel and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?” Then she said, “Here is my maid Bilhah; go in to her, that she may bear upon my knees and that I too may have children through her.” …And Bilhah conceived and bore Jacob a son. Then Rachel said, “God has judged me, and has also heard my voice and given me a son”; therefore she named him Dan…Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. Rachel said, “With mighty wrestlings I have wrestled with my sister,

girls_wrestling

and prevailed”; so she named him Naphtali. When Leah saw that she had ceased bearing children, she took her maid Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife. Then Leah’s maid Zilpah bore Jacob a son. And Leah said, “Good fortune!” so she named him Gad. Leah’s maid Zilpah bore Jacob a second son. And Leah said, “Happy am I! For the women will call me happy”;

happy

so she named him Asher. In the days of wheat harvest Reuben went and found mandrakes in the field, and brought them to his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.” But she said to her, “Is it a small matter that you have taken away my husband? Would you take away my son’s mandrakes also?” Rachel said, “Then he may lie with you tonight for your son’s mandrakes.” When Jacob came from the field in the evening, Leah went out to meet him, and said, “You must come in to me; for I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.”

pimp

So he lay with her that night. And God heeded Leah, and she conceived and bore Jacob a fifth son. Leah said, “God has given me my hire because I gave my maid to my husband”; so she named him Issachar. And Leah conceived again, and she bore Jacob a sixth son. Then Leah said, “God has endowed me with a good dowry; now my husband will honor me, because I have borne him six sons”; so she named him Zebulun. Afterwards she bore a daughter, and named her Dinah. Then God remembered Rachel,

tumblr_static_remember

and God heeded her and opened her womb. She conceived and bore a son, and said, “God has taken away my reproach”; and she named him Joseph, saying, “May the Lord add to me another son!”

The Bible in GIFs: Genesis 29

Then Jacob went on his journey, and came to the land of the people of the east. As he looked, he saw a well in the field and three flocks of sheep lying there beside it; for out of that well the flocks were watered. The stone on the well’s mouth was large, and when all the flocks were gathered there, the shepherds would roll the stone from the mouth of the well,

indiana-jones-boulder-o

and water the sheep, and put the stone back in its place on the mouth of the well. Jacob said to them, “My brothers, where do you come from?” They said, “We are from Haran.” He said to them, “Do you know Laban son of Nahor?” They said, “We do.” He said to them, “Is it well with him?” “Yes,” they replied, “and here is his daughter Rachel, coming with the sheep.”…

junglebookwatergirl

Now when Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of his mother’s brother Laban, and the sheep of his mother’s brother Laban, Jacob went up and rolled the stone from the well’s mouth, and watered the flock of his mother’s brother Laban.

mowgligetswater

Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and wept aloud.

rain-kiss-the-notebook

And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s kinsman, and that he was Rebekah’s son; and she ran and told her father. When Laban heard the news about his sister’s son Jacob, he ran to meet him; he embraced him and kissed him, and brought him to his house. Jacob told Laban all these things, and Laban said to him, “Surely you are my bone and my flesh!” And he stayed with him a month. Then Laban said to Jacob, “Because you are my kinsman, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?”

what-do-you-want

Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah’s eyes were lovely, and Rachel was graceful and beautiful. Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.” Laban said, “It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to any other man; stay with me.”

challenge-accepted

 

Breaking the Cycle

Every week a large portion of churches in the world organize their worship of God around the same couple of Bible passages, picked by some learned folks to cover most of the Bible over a three-year cycle called the Revised Common Lectionary. Since I often preach them and always read ’em, I’m going to blog on the weekly passages regularly. If you have any questions about the RCL, this is a helpful resource.

My Mom once told me that her main parenting goal is to do a little better with us than was done with her. Perfect parenting is a myth, according to her – there’s too much you pass on without meaning to, too much that’s out of your control, too much you mess up before you learn better. But you can hope to build, just the tiniest bit, on whatever your parents gave to you, and hope to equip your kids to build a bit on whatever you managed.

The more dramatic version of this vision of parenting is “breaking the cycle” – noticing the patterns in our families that are deeply unhealthy, even if everything else is great, and choosing to be the first not to perpetuate them. This is the Dad who chooses not to use physical violence, the Mom who makes the effort never to berate, the Parent who actively reminds herself to not pressure the kids into her own dreams, because they see how poorly it’s worked out for everyone for generation after generation.

Jacob, the focus of this week’s Genesis Bible story, was the bearer and progenitor of a long legacy of sibling rivalry and cruelty. The whole thing started with Cain, who killed his older brother Abel. Several generations later we had Jacob’s Uncle Ishmael kicked out of the house into a desert in favor of his younger half-brother Isaac. And in this passage, Jacob is only at his Uncle Laban’s house at all because he stole his birthright and his blessing from his older twin brother Esau via Mom-assisted trickery. In a society where birth order and family trust mattered a lot, this is not a good look.

At first, it seems like sibling relations won’t be relevant or recognized in this story. Though older sister Leah has “tender eyes,” Jacob had fallen madly in love with Rachel at first sight, crying out of love for her, and asks for her hand in marriage. The seven years of labor he proposes to give in return seem like nothing. When Laban sneaks Leah in instead, having Jacob marry her against his will, and then extorts another 7 years of labor for baby sister because younger just don’t get to marry before big sisters, we could be forgiven for missing the re-occurrence of the theme in our consternation at the trickery.

But it is there – in a potentially cycle-breaking way. Though we can all agree that consensual, honest marriages would be better than this situation, by giving Jacob Leah when he expects Rachel Laban is honoring the tradition of elder over younger, securing protection for his gentle daughter in a difficult and patriarchal society, and doing it without making Leah and Rachel into enemies of each other.  He makes the choice to enforce different priorities than every previous generation.

This doesn’t change everything – no one would call the sibling relationships between Jacob & Leah & Rachel’s 12 (!) kids ideal. Joseph’s older brothers sell him into slavery, and some are willing to kill him. But they are better than what came before. Nobody dies. Everyone reconciles by the end. They restore their relationships and live in love and peace together by the end of their lives, an improvement over the uneasy detente of Jacob & Esau, the exile of Ishmael, and the death of Abel.

Things never get perfect. We are human after all. But things can get better, little bit by little bit. Whatever the worst thing is that has happened to us, or the thing we’ve done we most regret, it is something we can learn from, and use to do better next time. There’s nothing from which there can’t be recovery, and no pattern of unhealthiness in our lives or our families so ingrained that we can’t make the choice to upend it.

Be like Laban, and like Jacob. Not perfect, and sometimes not even like-able. But following God, paying attention, and doing what they can to grow just a little bit from whatever came before.